THROUGH LOST SILENCES Poems David Jaffin THROUGH LOST SILENCES Poems David Jaffin First published in Great Britain in 2003 by Shearsman Books, 58 Velwell Road, Exeter EX4 4LD and in Germany by St.-Johannis-Druckerei, Lahr/Schwarzwald www.shearsman.com shearsman@macunlimited.net Distributed for Shearsman Books in the U.S.A. by Small Press Distribution, 1341 Seventh Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94710 Email: orders@spdbooks.org Website: http://www.spdbooks.org ISBN 0-907562-38-8 (Shearsman Books, UK) ISBN 3-501-01466-X (St.-Johannis-Druckerei, Germany) Copyright © David Jaffin, 2003. The right of David Jaffin to be identified as the author of his work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988. All rights reserved. Gesamtherstellung: St.-Johannis-Druckerei, Lahr/Schwarzwald Printed in Germany 34458/2003 Contents Outjumped 9 Thinking out 27 Even if 9 The Red One 27 Age 11 A Depth in Silence 27 In Refrain 12 Tropical Saturday Time-sharing 12 Evening’s 28 Refuged 13 A Shadow in Mind 28 A Stranger around Church Capitalism USA 29 the corner 13 Question Marks 30 Adolescence 14 Hearsay 30 Talking it out 15 For Feet 31 For an Ease 15 Brooding moments 31 Matthew 6,24 16 Moving out 32 Carissimi’s Jephta 16 That hope-felt Smile 32 Gaiety 17 Really known 33 Their birth for wind 17 Rosh Haschana and the City seen 18 days of repentance 34 Cooled 18 Non spokenness 35 But lightly surfaced blue 19 Too much color 35 Seeing’s believing 19 Poemed 36 6 Masterpieces in the Streetlights 36 Frankfurt Art Museum Schrubs 37 a) van Eyck: Reeds 37 Lucca Madonna 20 Edge of cold 37 b) Rembrandt: Hendricje Find 38 Stoffels “attributed to his If things go too well 38 workshop” 20 Unquieted 39 c) Altdorfer: The 3 Kings 21 A passage way 39 d) Bellini: Sacred Still lifes 40 Conversation 22 Balanced out 40 e) Rubens: King David Questioning Nathaniel playing his harp 23 Pink 41 f) Vermeer: The Absent minded 42 Geographer 24 Logic beyond logic 43 Defense Mechanisms 24 Artificial flowers 43 Melville at Sea 25 3 Still Lifes Hardy’s heath 26 a) Chairs 44 Would be? 26 b) Closing drawers 44 c) Looking at pictures 45 Hammering 45 Illuminating light 45 Nonsense 46 To see again 46 Of Outlook 47 Known better 48 Winter’s will 48 Soft touch 49 December moon 50 Different 50 An Intimacy 51 Teacher’s complaint 52 Flying kites 52 Escaped 52 Railings 53 To finding dream 53 Empathy? 53 Waiting 54 Intentions 55 Even before 56 In proclaiming 56 What does it mean 57 Defining an object 57 His way of seeing 58 A softness of feeling 58 Too much Goodness 59 Wind-stilled 60 If this church 61 Leibl 61 Thereness of 62 Naked branched 62 Receiving death 62 This new day 63 Happy ends 63 Renewing 64 Criss-crossing 64 Smoothed-out 65 Taste of 65 Talk shows 65 Instinct to 66 So! 66 Virtuoso 67 Church image 67 At Funerals 68 Escapes us 69 Train-told 69 Slight hopes 70 Portrait 70 Silver-Scaled 70 Mangrove Trees 71 Tasted salt 71 Over-extended 62 All’s away Nothing’s here 72 Room above the kindergarten 73 Sky-viewed window 73 Trying to be involved 74 For S. L. 75 Witnessed 76 For Rosemarie 76 Lost to Sleep 77 Simple Truths 77 Waking from Sound 77 Asked/answered 78 Tropical Hospital 78 For good Prices 79 But still 80 Nathaniel Pink’s indecisions 81 “A Final word, please” 82 A finalized Sense ofbeauty 83 Israel’s suffering 83 Hide and Seek 84 Out-centered 84 Felt hurt 85 Bird’s - inview 85 God-seeker 86 Smaller shadows 87 Togethered 87 Cousin-in-law 88 Wall 88 Virgin land 89 If there’s no inward world 89 Double vision after the eye operation 90 Glamour 91 Chosen 91 For being more 92 Of knowing where 93 At sunset 93 Folksy words 94 "In God we trust” 94 Disappointed 95 Wearing out 95 Uptold 95 Southern pine's 96 Dead speaking 96 Existential Fear 97 Crossing a river 97 A final place 98 Unseen 98 Buds-for-Leafs 99 Grey 99 Unsaid words 99 Slowed down 100 Aged 100 Re-timed 100 Seldom Smile 101 Despited 101 Waiting for Love 102 Peopled with Children 102 Belle of the Party7 103 Prime Choice 104 So Explicit 104 Herrcnberg 105 Striped to Birth 105 Abstracting language 106 That quiet Pelican 106 Last Meaning? 107 Sadness in Schubert’s 107 On Critics 108 Singing stones 108 Snow’s sensibilities 109 Abandoned 109 Identities 109 Twain: the last years 110 seeming 111 Thank you Notes 111 Pains 112 Over bearing 112 Of Waiting 112 Blowing up 113 Homnrage a Ibsen 113 Beach Mannequin 114 Imitations? 114 Zelenka 115 Berwald 115 Self Portrait 116 With Little Things 116 Cranach’s “Fall ofMan” 117 Caring for silence 117 Joost van Cleve’s “Magdalene’s mourning the dead Christ” 118 Melting 118 Siena + 1348/49 119 Witnessing 119 Impersoned 119 Where Cold’s 120 Speechless Deep 120 Learning to learn 121 One-parent Families 121 Sunday 122 Two-sided 122 Decides 123 A Blessing 123 Still Asleep 123 The Need for More 124 In MemoriamJ. G. 125 These niceties of age 125 That shifting sense 126 Jesus/Buddha 146 For being more 127 Some Kinds Puppet play Puppets 128 of Diagnosing 147 May have been 129 Didn’t know 148 Outpoemed 129 Outlasting 148 Slow Steps/ Fading out 148 slow thoughts 130 Paced 149 Opened windows 130 Nostalgic 149 Like any other day 131 Cyclops? 149 Mary, the Mother 131 Castle at Sirmione 150 Enveloping 132 Bells 150 Trilogy of Finer Sense 151 a) Return to Israel Righting one self 151 1945/48 132 Down to size 151 b) Jesus in Auschwitz 133 Out finding 152 c) To Kingdom Captiva Bay 152 ofPeace 134 The Dream 153 Room without Endangered species 154 windows 134 For its own Sake 155 Room without Deep down 155 windows 11 135 Routine 155 Carpet’s red 135 Psychoage 156 Preacher’s Room 136 Systems 156 In Fineness 136 Progress 156 Releasing 137 Freedom 157 Advertising Model 137 Giving in 157 Cross-felt 138 Ambiguity 158 Weekend Father’s 138 Kassandra 158 As if 139 Of haunted dreams 159 Rain buds 139 Cut Grass 159 Lutheran pre-Situation 139 Wind-fright 160 Empiricism? 140 On the Suffering Statistics 141 of a retarded child 160 Prophetic sense 142 What comes next 161 The dilemma 143 “Prussian blue, Without God 143 it ’ll fade” 162 To begin 144 For the Freudians 162 Towards tonality 145 Tamed 163 Interaction 145 Hellenic 164 Passed 145 Overstepping 164 Lessened 146 22 Oak Lane 165 King David 166 Looking back 167 That rhythmic urge 167 Enlarged 168 A Color ofits own 168 All used up 169 Out-lined 169 Guest room leaving 170 Finding in 170 Deciding 171 Little girl lost 171 A sense of moon 172 Cemetary 172 Name dropping 173 Getting ahead 173 The Making of 174 Jonathan 174 Coming straight to the point 175 David/Absalom 176 Underlying Meanings 177 Dualities 177 Rembrandt’s Saskia 178 Anatolian Restaurant 178 Outlearned 179 Tropical fish 180 Puzzled in 180 Spaced out 181 Christ presented to the Jews 181 If there is peace 182 Through the realms of Christinas Eve 183 Outjumped She was spon tancous ly more than She could keep her self from getting back to As that out jumping of a kan garoo’s mothered look Pou ched in her child’s re sembling eyes. Even if he could fathom the depths of where these seas have relinguish ed their hold on light into that all perinea ting silence If he could meet him self on his own terms Standing for where stan ding has come to mean Still, even in that be ing of be ing the wherefore and why of would be as elusive as the in tangi bilities through shadow. Age creeps up on us un seen at first But extcn ding its grip into the muscles and fibres of our being It taps a way at our inner strength until we feel the sprea ding out of its cause into those veins of self-assur ance that once held us so steadfast in our purposing a life that we felt was ours alone to tell. In Refrain The calm of when these waves express them selves at the quiet of sunset’ s final voice A stillness in refrain. Timesharing These buildings worn with the thoughts of people who’ ve stayed there Parch ed through the Floridian sun they’ re peeling now deep down in visibly coming off. Refuged Retired from thought Seeking re fuge in the quietness of inexpli citly seen But the i mage of what he wasn’t couldn't be completely denied even in dream. A Stranger around the corner Death keeps its distance Not being asked to come in A stranger around the corner in those darken ing moments that conceal them selves from view. Adolescence It’s that space between where I was by be ing what my parents saw me as And the fru ition of what love takes for her own But those spaces were like emptied streets side- winded from fear leaving deepen ing sha dows behind. Talking it out (forM. c.) if you talk it out It doesn’t think in Man's more than the telling it and woman’s even more than that! For an Ease When words stop taking me to place And there’s that almost sleep ot lis tening in to my pillow’ s cool ness. Matthew 6,24 If you work with figures all the time You may not be able to figure your self out And that finger’ s touch dull ed into dol lars and cents. Carissimi’s Jephta The tears of his daughter may be fee ling into the needs for his own Melting that music in to what he never had been or would be again. Gaiety A gaiety of heart that outran it self to colored song ed-in-dance Wild winds flourishing as flame. Their birth for wind Can flowers bloom in the darkness of this unseen silence With the moon closing in as if from words waken ing their birth for wind. City seen if windows are like eyes can be a ware of their cold stance from seeing through. Cooled If this shade can cool my thought s to their timely reach of being rooted in the depths of silence. But lightly surfaced blue This sky’s but lightly sur faced blue as a smile extending to the width of where your lips could have answered but almost at tentively a loud. Seeing’s believing? if seeing’s believing then I’ve seen too much to believe in any thing other than that invisibly true. 6 Masterpieces in the Frankfurt Art Museum a) Van Eyck: Lucca Madonna They were jewelled into pre sence so fine ly kept with those details in light that one wonders If there wasn’t more of that heaven ly throne here than to the right of The Father’s majesty. b) Rembrandt: Hendricje Stoffels “attributed to his workshop” Of course you left the depth of your mind’s eye for your wife’s encir cled glowing self reflec tion to your bandied work shop to complete those shimmering touches that only Your brush-sense could have So refined! c) Altdorfer: The 3 Kings That crumbling Roman temple or was it your relinguish edjewish heri tage - no place for ani nials here the poverty that became His home All ages, races attributed for Messianic gifts to their High Priest with only a star to tell for heaven’s designed King And you, the artist near ing in to that sanctuary of earthly hopes. d) Bellini: Sacred Conver sation That blue was more of heaven for you than all the gold could tell of those 3 touched -through from His distant blessing But you yourself so near on the wood that would be pierced through your untimely sins. e) Rubens: King David playing his harp Not of the youth the fields of his child-felt devotion but aged with sin and the weariness of his king ly needs He fingered his hopes be yond all that jewelled-in presence into the dark of where only light could take on for its inward glance. f) Vermeer: The Geographer Were you mapped in to your touched-for-place Room ed for a dis tant world you could only imagine Windowed out for that necessary light. Defense Mechanisms Who’s de fending what theory that strengthens your own de- fensed- in fallibility We all need walls to sur round us from too much selfshadowing and that quickening light of artifi dally im plied answer s. Melville at Sea (for Manfred Siebald) It wasn’t that white of never-for sense But those waves that uneased Where you couldn’t be becoming in the help less ness of spaced ... Hardy’s heath entangled-tense growth ofbreeding wormed dead-shine desires. Would be? Was Eve inquisitive Or was it that snake’s way of telling her to be so Or if there’ d been a nother fruit different ly timed in place Would she have taken that to(o)? Thinking out Thinking out is like a ship beyond where it’s seeing now That I can’t. The Red One Children may be coloring in their own thoughts But that Lion the red one woke me a ware to my unsettling fears. A Depth in Silence if he heard deep enough The sounds of the sea listen ing in what he’d heard. Tropical Saturday Evening’s a beauti Tied being dressed in that occasionally Taking its mea sure in her own appear ance The town moon-lit from distant shades. A Shadow in Mind All that dark seems as only an appear anceA sha dow in mind as this lin gering weight less moon. Church Capitalism USA Preaching a sort of church Capi talistn “There’ s more about money in the bible than a bout faith and prayer”. This church will take it all fondly in — Thank God the collection preceded pro cessionally all this rhe toric And Christ’s grace was left penniless beg ging for alms at the door. Question Marks if the question mark marked a question I’d rather let it speak it self out as a pier seeking for sea and the wherea bouts of e longated searchings. Hearsay I’ve heard so many things said that weren’t That I’ve come to take si lence as more of a matter of fact. For Feet A little dog not knowing where but never the less going that way in a timed-rhythm for feet. Brooding moments A bird clawed for branch Sits and waits its broo ding moment s. Moving out through rooms until doors be came a house of emptied spaces’. That hope-felt Smile it was that hope-felt smile that even took its length through the flower ed design s of your sig nifying dress ed apprecia tion of why Love isn’t what one ex pects its where about s to be. Really known Words may not mean the same if used less often Seeing too much may cause that image to lose its hold in reflecting sound What I know is only really known once there’s a dis tance to be ing found again. Rosh Haschana and the days of repentance Why is Judgment now at the end of sum mer’s linger ing fullness (not in the dead light of winter’ s stone-kept glance) But where the height of season’s time less turning s has left us ready to be bared from our leafless desires. Non spoken ness In the non spoken ness of sense That touch from what word s might come to mean. Too much color Flower s droop mg from the weight of too much color. Poemed Don’t look for a poem unless it’ s look ing right in you. Streetlights In that glass ed-in viewed-re flection of what Stars might be telling us now. Schrubs may settle for their down- felt in-growth Sanctity of coherent semblance. Reeds To be freed as these slender reeds ta king for wind in trans parent self. Edge of cold That edge of cold touched in frost- find clears. Find Birds hurried to per ceive in sha dow s find. If things go too well like words running into their prede termined rhythms That you wonder how they got that way There’s that uneasy fee ling of the ways they did n’t go Coming back at you As if time could reverse itseifbecause Fear speaks a language of its own understand ing. Unquieted These winds unquieted through the stirrings of my blood’s quickening sense. A passage way ’s only e-choing-in- sense The dark more fee ling than that way would tell us a head/touch ed silence of our fee ling in for. Still lifes imply that there’s a special kind of life in that stillness of seeing to where It be gins to grow out a perspective of there - it-is for being more. Balanced out Can the world balance it self back to being Storms leave a quiet after And in that approach ing still ness There’ s a tension of coming more Where’ s the center then Like til ting one’s glance the feel for seeing straight. Questioning Nathaniel Pink if it’s those little out- of-place things that habitually unnerve that fineness to your sensi bilities Why is your big view al ways center cd down the middle Like a racing track’ s winner closing in for nearing there. Absent minded then Where it’s perhap s minding some thing else Like floating balloons to see it they’ re changing- in-colors have left the sky behind Where your mind should have re mained earth-bound. Logic beyond logic if there’s a logic beyond logic It’s because Thing s don’t match the way they’re suppos ed to be. Artificial flowers Where’ s that soft ness mel ting through touch The dee pening scent in strangely brightened thought s A real flo wer’s see ing finer-through the finger’s crea-sing-in sounds. 3 Still Lijes a) Chairs may im-i-tatc persons Or they might present a lasting sense of having been sat on But these Chairs back- ribbed as they are The bare- bones of what We wouldn’t want to be. h) Closing drawers is fee ling your fingers in to thoughts that might be concealed there. c) Looking at pictures to see ifThey might be loo king back. Hammering the sounds of pulsed- sensed steel sparked your eyes. Illuminating light Gulls illumina ting light as far as the sun could be heard. Nonsense (for the poet’s sort, Raphael) He may not have had the mind of others But he minded his nonsense with a meticulous care A symbolism of words and effects Just for him Told to make fun of other’s not knowing why even ifhe didn’t know him self It certain ly did! To see again if we could only learn to see a gain Beyond where eyes have prac- tised their touched-in precision of choice. Of Outlook You might change the color of your hair Or even that glance- ed- in appeal ing for look But what you can’t change could change you Unccr tained from an undeci ding change of outlook. Known better Why they came They must have known better to that land ofjewish extinction Coming back as if It was safe for them now Or as a final answer to the “final solu tion” - Theirs. Winter’s will If winter has teeth It bites hard Clenching its stone-tensed will Sharpening the sic- kled blades of its wind’ s intent Baring this frightened land down to its finali zed breath. Soft touch The soft touch of your welcomed words has warmed me through the cold realms of winter’ s deciding glance veined-in now from fear. December moon The moon’ s hardened its held- in light Distan cing from touch Trem bling through these cold- lighted winds of vacant thoughts. Different Finding different words to the same things Makes those same things different. An Intimacy The cold ness of these times draws us nearer in an inner sense for warmth There’s an intimacy of that fee ling out to the meaning for words Not just what’s said But in the saying it as well We become more aware of their colors in sound And in the dress of being their closer-in together. Teacher’s complaint Penelope undid what she was taught to learn My tea chers might complain of this needle-worked un doing from. Flying kites for a wind less sky He felt the touch ofknowing less than this. Escaped Where do fish escape to color the dark of this deepness be yond in meaning. Railings to that steel- shine of les sening no more than this Saying’s touch. To finding dream Cus hioned in silence Where the cool to finding dreams re members. Empathy? Could I have lived her life better than she Be cause she got into those kinds of trouble si couldn’t be her be ing confused. Waiting for what we know will happen But not knowing what that happening may mean As a tension that stirs the blood to a height of expectation’s waves claiming in that breakage for time (but yet) evening out their repeat ed phrase as the smooth-told song at even tide. Intentions It’s not what’s said but the way of saying That’s said — Houses look white because the whiteness of that word conveys the sense. A house then is the meaning of itself Coloring through the words of looking on. Even before if I promised you a rose That thought of the i mage of its form The fine ness of its inner fold s That implicit scent Would be a taking of it, even be fore It’s been given. In proclaiming The snow was setting a deep ness of thought Farther down than even Those settling winds could Find And a moon risen in the triumph of its white ness in Pro claiming! What does it mean you might ask As if mea ning means any thing other than the where and what of it’s impli citly there. Defining an object is where your finger s can turn its meaning s in. His way of seeing 11 was (perhaps) His way of see ing those selfsame waves searching out but neverthe less coming in across those flat line s of spoken sand As if All that was in a returning to be found Listening for this heart-beat’ s receiving time. A softness offeeling And there’s a softness of feeling to(o) When the moon encircles the height of its own intent and Flesh that fold s into the needs of our wanting hand s Or when the waves have settled down to a sameness of finding for. Too much Goodness Her good ness gave us bad feelings Always for the others but seldom for her self Even Christ thought of the Father’ s will - to(o) in that self- denial Wasn’t she a ware to that Doing us wrong. Wind-stilled No thing move s this prewintered closeness Wind-still ed the same ness of field s levelled - out their length for be ing known. If this church could be as sure as its stone-held permanence Ascri bing another world to its worldly - felt aims Then I’d let its enclos-sures finalize my sense of being so/ purposed. Leihl told the strength of their facially-cut featured rugged Landscap ed perspec tived in personed place. Thereness of That little bird’s after- found wings Colored the thereness in its be ing for mine. Naked branched skeletal urge d danced in death. Receiving death as an old friend in the quie tude of a last-timed leisure Those cer-tained pain s but that assurance in the same of some thing more than It could take away. This new day writes it self into me with indelible ink Not even these soft rains can wash its sound less image away. Happy ends don’t come because they start that way They must be loved back into view. Renewing If you’ve seen all there is to see You could start again by seeing a gain/seen. Criss-crossing of waves but to tell the same shore back- reached in tide. Smoothed-out Night smoothed-out softened by sleep The stars gui ding its slow-felt sense ol be ing watch ed over. Taste of The taste of quickened to sense split-down glow/je- welled. Talk shows Talking the thing out until the thing’s out talked of Like hanging cloth es on the line of drying their colors out. Instinct to 1 know their colors Only after the shadow s passed an instinct to light. So! He stood his place of what he’d been double-footed Hands told in pockets So! Virtuoso It wasn’ t the music that spoke ranging it self to the inner meanings of sound But more like a dis play of clothes And that flashing smile’ s instru ment of self appealing appearance. Church image Winds keep shif ting their meanings by A ship in a vacant storm held to the bottom less ness of its sin king hopes. At Funerals He was so con cerncd about saying the right thing s Pleasing, accentua ting the com mon notions That more of silence would have better ac companied that flower mg casket. Escapes us if the theme es capes us leaves us looking for where it wasn’t like a Spitz wegean butter fly neither caught in the hopes of his pleading myopic net. Train-told Dividing the wood s in sound s of see ing past exten sions for thought. Slight hopes a bird hoi ding tight to twig. Portrait Ernest look Heavy chinned concerns Dulled glass es having been seen too much. Silver-Scaled To think of that silver- scaled tarpon creasing the waters to its sound less edge. Mangrove Trees from coral- lcd rock Rooted to the dead life of primieval tides. Tasted salt Taste of salt lipped- tongued sprayed of birds running- high. Over-extended Lots of line little dog pulling for a maybe’d foot holding fast to what’ s hardly holding in. All’s away Nothing's here It was as if The wind had blown this world away The heavens moved into whereever they were be yond the trees dancing bending through their rhythmic strength’s rhymed in to All’s away and nothing’ s here. Room above the kindergarten it was a little bit of a little girl' s room with those silly triffles han ging around for walls to be decorated upon Nothing quite as the world would have it But in a neatness carefully groomed. Sky-viewed window opened me out beyond the width of my viewed-in self as a pre cipacc of heighten ed thought to where if not only there. Trying to be involved Trying to be in volved in what didn’t hasten my sense Otherwise from a cat’ s unravel] ing the roll of that clothed-through where abouts. ForS. L. Where is the gen ealogy of such intricate understanding A language not yours but learned A back ground in the backdrop of my own poetic awareness Can one learn what is be yond the grammar of what word s should self-define A sensi bility that brightens the idea as in those searching times of moonlike. Witnessed The winds tell ing their time through these bared fields And those clouds massive ly column ed-in the stillness of approach ing dawn. For Rosemarie There’s a beauty rare ly refined as a rose but slightly paled intricately en hanced in the folds of in volving stillness. Lost to Sleep A day lost to sleep dog - pawed in that downed heat of less inspiring suns. Simple Truths Let's get back to the simple truths She meant As if they weren’ t getting back at us. Waking from Sound Waking from sound That inner flow of sleep As fish through the water’ s silent reach of no where to be told in fin ding out. Asked/'answered He asked, religion 1 answered, faith Not the forms but in the forms Not the priest but the word- priest Not that feeling or thought But His feelings and thoughts for us. Tropical Hospital They called it “The Hilton” And 1 would have booked for a suite m those spacious interiors of being brought into tropical plants and waters not even the touch of disease that a hospital u sually comes to mean And those special closed-off rooms for young chil dren still dy ing of cancer. For good Prices A land that’ s lost its soul Indian once those back-watered routes still lis tening for thunder Black-timed slave lands And now its robbed soil to digging deep those har bored joys of new high rises And tou rist hands talking for good prices. But still as a woman more touched but finding yet that real love of only now Tropical instincts in the darked spray ing-out- of waves And inland enclo sures to hear that whisper of still fin ding-out streams. Nathaniel Pink’s indecisions Not having de cided which way the de cisions might mean turning out coming a bout or still hanging in a speechless void of that not where be cause the why failed to define whatever claims it might or might not need It was like bet ween waking and morning And the dark still perfor ming its last uncertain ties. “A Final word, please ” haven’t we heard that one before As if our words could attain a finality in sense When we inhabit this uncertain self Mirror ed mostly as the changing mindsofa caged bird’s involving i mage of And admiring what hasn’t come out to be for long. A finalized Sense of beauty Why do these naked branch es bared of all their other accommo dations strangely invest us with a finalized sense of beauty Abstracted to their innermost lines of meaning. Israel’s suffering Was Israel’s suffering like a lamb in defensi bly outcast world foreign to the tender ness of its calling More in the features of Christ than it could behold it self in be mg. Hide and Seek You can’t hide from what you can’t find out any way from that other self s shadowed Tree-find. Out-centered She centering me out between ed thought and sense Not knowing which was mine which hers. Felt hurt saw it m her eyes some where else Couldn’ t look it a way from not being there. Bird’s - inview in re volving mir ror’s round about that doesn' t quite come back to. God-seeker However much we’ve reclaimed this land to our own use And tilled out the soil of our finer feelings There would always be a dark ness that would spread its claims again on us Far out beyond the ti dal urgings of this sea to that last starried hope of being more than what we are or could possibly mean. Smaller shadows Trying to catch up to his telling feet falls the smaller shadows of growing up. Togethered But as Van Eyck detailed a map of minor objects Delight ed in their own right-for-Meaning the more these little things together ed. Cousin-in-law No such thing But he’ s there with his brimming hat and decided look cd-for-mea nings in a dia logue to relative matters. Wall impenetra blc Like you’ ve reached its stoned height Overbearing sight Blanked no- not-matter Lifeless to heart. Virgin land Man-made the measure of that virgin land Took it for his wants Stripped it to his needs until that Mystery of light, dark and depth was fathomed out Lay bar-ren/bared. If there’s no inward world a way of feeling one’ s thought s shadowed in reflec tion The re turning room closing us for silence in Not the things them selves But how they’re vealed in touch and sight The depth through our own contem plations. Double vision after the eye operation may be seeing what I wanted to see and the way it may have really been Like parent’s wish-image of their chil dren and those same chil dren looking back at them other wise in a mirror double- visioned Two truths un telling the same. Glamour may be doing your self up to where You can’t get back down again. Chosen No where to be safe That sacrificial death that Christ told in blood is bound to our Jewish ness now at the stake of fear Nailed to be chosen in His redeeming strength. For being more if there’s no sense of mystery left If the wood’s been cut from the dark ness of its soul Iflove’ s but the flesh of acting itself through If then the world means less for be ing world And man’s lost from his un heard want s for being more. Of knowing where These curtains closed in your need for touch to waken whatever light could be felt in the cloth of knowing where. At sunset These waters calmed an unseen hand stilled their rising need to voice. Folksy words Southern preacher’ s imbalance d phrase draws you slowly in to a baited bite of gospelled sense. “In God we trust” coined and papered over belief in a God who distrusted their sanctioned doublesided values. Disappointed not quite grieved but in that same feelinged place Only touched slight ly in for hurt. Wearing out of self As clothes trying too hard to be newly dressed. Uptold Rough sea s disturbing strength Winds uptell the ocean’s bottomed- hold-break- age of what ever silent refuge such times as these. Southern pine’s whisper ing sense needling the wind’s finer-felt trans parencies. Dead speaking Heard the dead spea king Stranged- in fears Sealed-in trains crossing your mind’s tracks. Existential Fear As if some thing wasn’t there that should have been Having lost what couldn’t be found a void a space Some where echo ing deep through lost silences. Crossing a river over the height of being safe from those fear- lit sounds As streams of persons restless ly impulsed. A final place A room en closed in room A final place of where nothing’s out but in That image of used thoughts As objects seen too often to be loo king back. Unseen Too many books here to make me be lieve that he’s seeing more than those emp tied pages can tell. Buds-for-Leafs These buds-for-leaf s remind me Life’s a small sense of seeing. Grey The grey of seeing oneself A1 ways the same. Unsaid Words must be buried some where. Slowed down to the even ness of ironing-board sense. Aged There’ 11 be a time When there’s only time’ s being more of us. Re-timed Churches sounding age-old time Cold-stoned to reticent feet. Seldom Smile obliquely felt As an Egrit where It was least expect ing Wings. Despited She knew the right people Lived where one should Married to an eye- sight-of-money Played the social games ac cording to class Ate and dressed as those pictured maga zines said But despite it all Felt some how when not trying to be alone despit ed. Waiting for Love His life was waiting for love An opened door for her to come in as he knew it But she never came waiting out side her own feel for life. Peopled with Children They peopled their home with children to protect a- gainst That one on one defense A marriage of being where the other wasn’ t though admiring what wasn’t of one self in the other. Belle of the Party She was the belle of the party The queen of hopes loved by more than She loved her self At 58 appeared drunken out of such fame, fat unstead y of foot to mind introduced to the not knowing former well-wishers Simply gazing. Prime Choice He was rich and of the right faith a serious item of choice Like the best of steak-throughed taste Or a 9 foot putt rolling with hill sense. So Explicit Her voice so ex-plicit like cutting ribbon to size exacting find. Herrenberg Some churches too thick for their in tended Howto-heaven Like Brahms’ late chamber music Not seen through. Striped by Birth if I were striped by birth an innate stigma for some It might make me Hee to the undone intentions of where Mountains sing for light or the depths of under-watered seas. Abstracting language like cutting stone to its jewelled- in center. That quiet Pelican That Si lent quiet pelican’s faced for lost sky’s distant call reclines the length where those bright scales of fish once found slip pery their way in. Last Meaning? Is the mind the last meaning Or can it see through itself more. Sadness in Schubert’s (A Miner Quartet and Haydn's Sonata Hb. 24 slow mot.) Not the Schuber tian sad ness of never fin ding open-sensed But to specifically felt Touched-in not out. On Critics If you have us before we have our selves in the Categories of pre-es tablished criteria It may not be the poem at all We’re written in. Singing stones Rush of water’s time-past singing stones. Snow’s sensibilities Last of snow’s sensi bilitics pushed through flowered re frain. Abandoned As a lone ly voiced abandon ed land scaped. Identities Like a woman’s new hat sitting a top spaced-en- chanced impress ions. Twain: the last years To be left lonely in a world of ad miration To deny God because ot your own loss When He had given all that could be lost for you Taking that aim at yourself can’t defend you against the same You were right Despite all your gifts You remained more human than human should be. seeming A little dog sat a little way of see ming him self bigger than he thought he could want to be. Thank yon Notes Saying the things One should say in the way they’ re said Isn’t saying any thing at all. Pains of where Feeling s numbed from thought. Oner bearing Too much of him To let me be mine. Of Waiting Light rain’s quiet sense of waiting. Blowing up The sea’ s regained its strength that rough sense of waves Some where in the blood That winds may have blown there to(o). Hommage a Ibsen If women were pretty pup-pets There must be strings for pulling their eyes that open in to close Those feet dangling for time And some where a heart to(o) Not far below the surface. Beach Mannequin That sweet smell of perfumed smile Clothes cut out from pictured book And words that don’t say but simply look. Imitations? Do children im-i tate or think their own way out Or are they be ing through us Some thing more of being them selves. Zelenka Lying dead for Two hundred years as in a jewelled tomb Great art may survive that way Unearthed even with mistaken notes As if what wasn’t sounded all that time could be reheard again right. Berwald They asked me about a hall named for you Never heard or ofThere’s that not quite right of your way of saying things that straighten me out. Self Portrait I wrote: Jewish minister Modernist poet with conservative values Biblical humorist they never wrote back. With Little Things It’s that special way with the little things That make them truly big A mouse trying for food The words that come self — or dained to mind Those details often tell more than any self imposing view of such important things. Cranach’s “Fall of Man ’’ (Uffizzi) Snake pointedly spoke Her eye a-wake Daring him to take the fruit She meant her dy ing strength in. Caring for silence as a woman combing her hair to where it stops by thin king. Joost van Cleve’s “Magdalene’s mourning the dead Christ” (Uffizzi) Unfamous in wayward corner tor private use But stilled in to a message She’d been told m us Voiced to hear. Melting Lost his steps in the snow’ s mel ting sounds. Siena + 1348/49 Circling that outer sensed in narrow ed streets Enclosin' ed dying medieval cries. Witnessing Flowers bend down Witnessing too much colored weight. Impersoned faceless facades not wanting to see what they may have known once oneness impersoncd. Where Cold’s its own permanent truth Woman askingje- welled and silvered touch. Speechless Deep Saying nothing’s the unsaid under cover fish silently probing its speech less deep. Learning to learn Learning to learn may be the un learning of what you should have known. One-parent Families If it takes two to make a person It should take two to help make him more of himself To nourish his need for love and inner strength to help him discern the where and where nots But then It took one God to make us all. Sunday That church listens for emptied stone A voice or two still wanting the need to praise Sunday beach filled up for pleasure seekers with sand and the sound of waves and the silent wings of birds for finding where coming in as if called for there. Two-sided These leaves can tell of shadow from what They find in sun. Decides The ridge of these hills decides in balance between earth and sky. A Blessing This tree o pens its arms to an expanse of sky Perhaps to bring the stars in I thought of a blessing to be blessed by having seen. Still Asleep The swans still asleep Tucked in the white ness of their wings and the rhythms of waves that have taken them afar to distant shores. The Need for More if you tell every thing at once There’s nothing to be told for more It’s like a woman undressing at the first night. She really needs those clothes to be some thing more to herself in. In MemoriamJ. G. I never saw quite up to your height I mean there was a gracious ness there A step above my own reaching for You may have had to look down but never down upon. These niceties of age Taking time’s rhy thms into the blood- length of our own Feeling in to the world we’ve come to sec and touch with our own meanings An ease of not wanting for more than our les sening need s can define And that child like ness in re learning through the question ing eyes of a world that could only be bigger known. That shifting sense if you say it differ ently than the world’s taken it to mean And there’s an tin ease of not quite appear ing your self certainties of thinking it so and not so Life’s that shif ting sense as in those tide s of where ever bound There’ s a watching moon above it all that you would want to seem down here. For being more if life’s sim ply a chance factor And the sprout in that Greenness for grass isn’t any thing more than its be ing touched-through in self appear ance And the flight of birds arou sing the au tumn winds to a new height to instinct that wanting warmth was only What it was not ask ing for more or the why and where of. Puppet play Puppets She played herself in to Mother ing child - like thoughts. May have been Spring may have been that little girl with posey hair and Eyes in wa kening sounds. Outpoemed this room from extra mea nings Like a sapless spring. Slow Steps/slow thoughts Slow steps slow thoughts I ask these trees up to be ing their height The air still Waiting for this light sub duedin a dis tance I can’t bring by slowing my step to slowed in thoughts. Opened windows that breadth of air in the wind to spaced. Like any other day A day like any other as if Any other day could be like this Selecting thoughts like flower s for a readied vase Each in- between colored What She meant for touch And that vase steadied as it was be yond glance. Mary, the Mother Mary the mother of wanting for more Unfathom ed that still ness of self- toned-quiet ude Angcll ed in Brightness. Enveloping This room en veloping the me of mine-closeness of where thin king’s for. Trilogy of a) Return to brae! 1945/48 Dead don’t speak to living only now Where the charred flesh and bared rawed fields of wan ton land I- maged new life upon smoul dcring heaps of dead past. b) Jesus in Auschwitz Would Jesus have recognised himself there/ trained to the death camps of li ving hopes Blood re deemed from tears The cry The cross ed wayward signs Out spreading hands. c) To Kingdom oj Peace This moon blot ted out for the blood of when Time’s a gonized from its last fears. Room without windows if there’s no way of loo king out How can I find this reach with in Imprison ed from these walls closed in impenetra ble silence. Room without windows II How can these freshly cut flowers, how ever fine ly felt to their cool ed through water Bloom without the sky to see to open their sense to a mind of space in light. Carpet’s red This carpet’s calling in red the deep ness of where wine unfolds through wave s of resplen dent warmth. Preacher’s Room This musky smell of time- told preacher s pointing their meaning for me And nothing but bibles here to help forget that the Lord created sun and the width of a wider world written so indelibly dear- pages of His living word. In Fineness Why does this white of birch slender ly ex posing in fineness- leaf. Releasing These finely lit bud-star s relea sing Evening’ s breath ed-in light. Advertising Model Teeth ed-in per fectly con sumed smile of the round ed redness assuming lips And eyebrowed to its made-up intention less Curved. Cross-felt Checker ed shirt' s selfintended smilelines of cross-felt proba- bilities. Weekend Father’s more than a childless looking to have halved their self certain tics from. all those pillows could but dream out that tired ness of longing in sleep. Rain buds touching in branch to the place of leaf ed remem brance s. Lutheran pre-Situation Before he knew Where he was He couldn’t get out with out knowing and out wasn’ t the same Closing door s locked be hind a finality of last chances weren’ t offered Only a one way last station ed being Imprisoned there If that was a there deeper within himself than He could have possibly imagined. mpiricism? if there’s a science of man It’s be cause He think s he knows what he sees But perhaps then doesn’t see what he doesn’t know It’s the in visibly there of love of self of God and of some-such meanings that transcend what man doesn’t see because he doesn’t know That makes man man. Statistics may turn me into a number hid den from permanent sight As if my shirt wasn’t grey or white But others thought it might have to be 82 %. Prophetic sense That lone voice in a world lonely from self Voice less to those deeper meanings that make man man to be May be heard if that lis tening’s hard enough. The dilemma Man decides mostly a gainst him self Be cause what he wants isn’t want ed of him But if what’ s wanted of him is what Others mean as their wants Then who’s to decide at all. Without God that defense against our selves His law that speaks for us against our vacant claim s of self His love the final fruit s of our denying Him without God there’s only a without. Where does beginning begin here Life seems in the middle of a process As a bird keyed to its branch for a moment or less of what He wanted to ask. Towards tonality Why does the sun want to seem to(o) far Touched from light gather ing in a moment of hesitant sound. Interaction These trees stea died for fruit And 1 ripened in looking. Passed These landscaped trees have taken their own design of becoming in Where this train farther off than appear s. Lessened Take account of your life I was told But it all added up to subtrac tion accoun ted for an aging process. Jesus/Buddha Buddha wanted to get us out of this world of ourselves Jesus gave himself for a world that didn't want His knowing too much of Why we wanted to kill Him. Some Kinds of Diagnosing couldn’t quite get him into one of their categories So they cut off some of the fringe aspects to fit him in to their proper framc- for-reference. Didn ’t know I didn’t know You didn’t want me to know Why not is too late now. Outlasting Wanting for wind through this rough sea’s impene trable thoughts. Fading out Morning moon Night’s hiding out its after glow. Paced He paced his steps to his inward length of thoughts. If it isn’t what we’ ve lost We’ve found Time re deems it self either way. Cyclops? He didn’t see it my way 1 didn’t see it his And if we did Could we see it both ways at once. Castle at Sirmione These stones still haunt their silent pose Fortified a- gainst ages ot waiting in Resolved their self- enclosed dis tance. Bells These bells know A founded consonance of timed- listening aloud. Finer Sense A touch ofbird’s Reeds singing in their ft ner sense. Righting one self it' the other’ s always wrong and I’m always right How can I right myselfby being wrong for a change. Down to size if you cut him down to size He may have to patch you back up a gain. Out finding A little girl following her feet to where She found them out again. Captiva Bay That bay was as calm as the gathering in of one’s thoughts A stillness as if the sun had settled there Lit in a permanency or its in-perceiving glow. The Dream (Great Gatsby) If Daisy never knew more than her monied voice can tell that inconstant need to being lov ed Why then this dream See ing through as even a part of your own unguarded self or of a false ly placed A merican myth doesn’t make it any more true to be lieve in sim ply because it’s believed. Endangered species The list’s getting longer The times shorter Man’s the main enemy Draining their swamps cutting down the dark of their forest into habitats He wants to reclaim for his self-seeking self And if the birds have flown out of sight And those strange creatures extinct from their God-given instincts Who's next on all those increa sing shortlists. For its own Sake Honesty for its own sake is Like lo ving more than You can realize. Deep down For some being at the bottom of things Is the only way to ri sing up again. Routine He got so used to his routine that Flis clo thes start ed looking all the same. Psychoage Being so obsessed with your self that There’s little left of. Systems are like houses It’ s often dif ficult to see through them. Progress is where you didn’t want to be later. Freedom If freedom is most al ways from How are you going to find your way back to? If you give into your self It’ s a ques tion of Who’s gi ving and What’s ta king. Ambiguity if they’re two ways of seeing it right May be the right way’ s doing it wrong. Kassandra (1964) Aber der Wind spricht, nur zu mir Die Wellen klagen einen scharferen Sinn Ich mochte rnich in der Nacht verstecken ein Baum, meine Blatter zur Erde geschiittet Ich mochte nackt sein vor dem Sturm, mein Stamm hart gcblasen Aber der Wind spricht noch. Of haunted dreams This house estranged from my sense-moon’ s Grasping the dark of not knowing where I sleep of haunted dreams. Cut Grass This grass cut to new meaning from over grown thoughts and the wee ding desires breeding instincts sprouting out their own fears. Wind-fright Quivering flo wers wind- fright That aimed of color to. On the Suffering of a retarded child She did n’t know the words for suffering But she knew what It was perhaps even more so Some thing dark for her incompre hensible ly becoming. less. What comes next What comes if there isn’t a coming next All lined up for the star ting aims at the finish Nothing more reached at tained as if there was a final sense in this. “Prussian blue, it ’ll fade” (jI. S. on CPF: Bach) Too distinct to make its mark known A clarity of lesser intent Or would you rather unravel it to the cloth of in terwoven fin alities. For the Freudians you know all the an severs before the question s can take-in Impulsed to their tin certain mea nings It’s like a river dried of direc dons. Tamed A white fence circling a round where it happen ed to be As the glad ly face of some tamed animal’s be ing soothed in quiet ness. Hellenic The beauty of man may be more classi cally pro portioned through the hands of his benevolent creator Than within the realms of reach of lhs own self-justi fications. Overstepping the lines of where you were written out to be As uneven ed cobble-stoned step s taken at what ever speed But angled out to receive your tenta tive arriv ing approach. 22 Oak Lane A house windowed in the depth of my past Red- bricked to the feature s of looking out through the world that has made me from But columned in white to the height of what has held my meaning for. King David (tin-fail) All those gifts The Lord had given almost a sent blance of what those wise men had cared for Following the star to your namesake with over reaching desires You took what wasn’t offer ed as yours Exposed to the death claims of those sen sual me-for-mine Ion gings- Looking back means more for most than the now as it was Man’s need s to find a meaning where he wasn’t. That rhythmic urge Hammering nails in-to a coffin a-cross that rhythmic urge to tell the end in that handswinging from fate. Enlarged All light s on House enlarged from awai ting what wouldn’t happen. A Color of its own The rain has a color of its own Unseen but speaking found as the quiet in untouch ed roses. A ll used up as a coin worn down from its vin tage value Debased ofits minted meaning’s indeci pherable to touch and sense. Out-lined tree Skeletal branch thinned in. Guest room leaving I’ve slept this room out of its aban doned mean ings An apple left circled to the size of its plate And flowers selective ly touch ed by. Finding in Where from is to The leaving in coming As if 1 could find myselfbe hind. Deciding “God will decide Just pray long enough” But He de cidcd long a go that we should de cide for our selves in the freedom He gave us to accept His fi nal answer. Little girl lost She never found herself A little girl lost pic king flower s while forgetting the garden she’s in. A sense of moon There was a sense of moon in coming As that feel for snow hasn’t real ized itself. Cemetery Stones engraved to living words ol mu ted presence Standing stilled to where from and what to. Name dropping Dropping names to be picked back up again Unpersoned from the flesh and blood of where they weren’t As if the name itself s abandon ed to what It might be attributable to. Getting ahead We may all be getting a head But the finish line’ s the no more coming on of The headless horse man’s tilting from his stainless steel-armor cd in self- certainty. The Making of Were we taught to feel- in the way that was only us The making of a mind’ s seldom touched- from person. Jonathan Too good to be king Less passion war-time needs He resigned him self in the depth of de votion to David’s un certain but Triumphal ascent. Coming straight to the point might un even that truth to the question ings of where’s co ming from And if that “point” may have indeed succeed cd itself to successive uncertain ties. David/'Absalom split down the middle as Jacob and Israel Two persons one truth The kingly father’s upstart son and He Defending him self against his own choice That will to selfdefeat But triumphal in the loss for repent ant tears. Underlying Meanings if the “truth” may have underly ing meaning s As these birds winged beyond their impulse d through shadow. Dualities The clarity of word redefining that uncertain ty in self As a por trait exacted for then and there But un mistak ably other wise. Rembrandt’s Saskia (1634-42Kassel) That pink she’s worthy of your wife Dressed in the richness of cloth and fur Jewelled/me- tallic gleam And the smooth ed face Clo sed hands That clasp of lip-determined glanced through your admiring skills. Anatolian Restaurant (Gottingen) Seeing through glass or glass see ing through That room ordered in the clarity of space-tables set to their silvered touch Candle’s flame but quietly felt from the dark of fal len leaves. Outlearned She only knew that she’d outlearned the meaning s She needed to know When her teacher overstepped that wisdom for the image of a lesser self. Tropical fish The co loring of that fish brighten ed me in to an aware ness of why waters recede from the spectrum of such an impending glow. Puzzled in He puzzled in the parts to fit the nrea ning of his own self sa tisfaction s. Spaced out There was always that vacancy from self in the o pen fields spaced out to the where of where wasn’t. Christ presented to the Jews (Diner) To see the i mage of one’ s own suf fering Who denied Him By increas ing the ex tent of that unseen cause. If there is peace even with in the ebb and flow of this world’ s lasting fears It must come from a far Perhaps with only a star to find its sol emn way to a place some where be yond the still ness of where our heart’s longings can be timed to rest. Through the realms of Christmas Eve brought in from the depth of these wai ting moment s Night now laycd silently to rest in the softness of freshly fallen snow And stars watching o ver the dis tance of where sleep pervadese ven through this wind’ s finding in voice. Poetry books by David Jaffin 1) Conformed to Stone, Abelard-Schuman, New York, 1968, London 1970. 2) Emptied Spaces, with an illustration byjacques Lipschitz, Abelard-Schuman, London 1972. 3) In the Glass of Winter, Abelard-Schuman, London 1975, with an illustration by Mordechai Ardon. 4) As One, The Elizabeth Press, New Rochelle, N. Y. 1975. 5) The Half of a Circle, The Elizabeth Press, New Rochelle, N. Y. 1977. 6) Space of, The Elizabeth Press, New Rochelle, N. Y. 1978. 7) Preceptions, The Elizabeth Press, New Rochelle, N. Y. 1979. 8) For the Finger’s Want of Sound, Shearsman Plymouth, England, 1982. 9) The Density for Color, Shearsman Plymouth, England, 1982. 10) Selected Poems, English/Hebrew, Massada Publishers, Givatyim, Israel, 1982. 11) The Telling of Time, Shearsman, Kentisbeare, England, 2000 + Johannis, Lahr, Germany. 12) That Sense for Meaning, Shearsman, Kentisbeare, England, 2001 + Johannis, Lahr, Germany. 13) Into the timeless Deep, Shearsman, Kentisbeare, England, 2002 +Johannis, Lahr, Germany. 14) A Birth in Seeing, Shearsman, Exeter, England, 2003 + Johannis, Lahr, Germany. ■H |g®g®8fB David Jaffin BUI David Jaffin's Preceptions is a fine book... Jaffin's poems, slight on the page, entice, engage, amuse. Yet their brief touchings move toward and often reach wholeness, and they are poems of philosophical consequence out of keeping with much of modern poetics. The poems catch perceptions in the act of happening, to be, the short-line verse appropriate to what.becomes. Paul Ramsay, The Sewanee Review. David Jaffin is a master of the restrained but purposeful statement. If his poems do not have quite the briefness of the haiku, they have a good deal of its light-dark inflection and rounded perfection of form... Jaffin's poems almost always give an impression of "light reflecting light". The fact is, that if one wants restraint and elegance, he will find it in abundance here. Jaffin's subtleties are, in short, dazzling. The Library Journal on Conformed to Stone Mr. Jaffin uses words with a real fineness of diction which emphasizes a characteristic understatement of emotion. One recognizes a cultivated sensibility. He adopts a theme and mode which one cannot help but admire. He writes very well indeed. Norman Holmes Pearson Poems in a tradition that is not European, not American, not jin many ways) Oriental, but Jaffinesque. There is no especial code to the unravelling of the poems, but that of commonplace, but intricate, human consideration. Jaffin's voice is unique and fascinating. Tribune (London) on As One David Jaffin has created in his four books of poetry published so far a world so unique, in verse so tight and controlled, that I can think of only two poets who are at all comparable: Emily Dickinson and Lorine Niedecker. He shares with both a vision of reality which is sharp and threatening. His poems are jagged pieces of ice which stab at the heart, but melt before causing damage... Jaffin explores the anima in ways which surpass even Robert Duncan's explorations of that part of the male psyche... St. Andrews Review